Explosions Abound
by Gree
Summary: In which Madara does the obvious in the war. Spoilers for the most recent arc in the manga.


**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto.

**Author's Notes:** This fic contains major spoilers for the most recent arc of the manga. Don't read unless you've gotten to that part.

* * *

''First up the former members of Akatsuki.'' Kabuto indicated the resurrected Tensei standing in perfect formation in Madara's cave.

''Next the former jinchuuriki. '' Madara looked over at the Tensei, noting his former pawn, Yagura, was present.

''And finally the previous Kages and a group of skilled ninja who were famous in their own right.''

''I see,'' said Madara, looking over them all. ''You have quite a collection, now it's time to march off to….'' He suddenly stopped and trailed off.

''Is there something wrong?'' Kabuto asked suspiciously.

''The Edo Tensei regenerate from all wounds correct? And can use all of their original techniques?'' Madara asked.

''Of course.''

''Any wounds? What if they were vaporized?'' Madara asked.

''Then a new body would simply from out of ash and dust. But the alliance won't have many jutsu of that caliber.'' Kabuto pointed out.

''Oh, no, that's not what I'm saying. Let me put it simple. We have Deidara here right?'' Madara asked.

''I was just with him, so yes we do.'' Kabuto nodded, wondering what Madara was hinting at.

''And he can use _all_ of his original techniques?'' Madara asked.

''That's correct.''

''And regenerate from _anything_?''

''Again, correct, do I need to write this down?'' Kabuto said sarcastically.

Madara ignored his jibe. ''And I can _teleport_ right?''

''From what I've seen you can do that- oh I see now.'' Kabuto's face dawned with comprehension.

''I'll be borrowing Deidara for now.''

* * *

**Konoha**

''Well, that's a good job'' a Konoha Chuunin sighed in relief as he finished hammering a nail into place.

''I think all the work's about done.'' Another Chuunin replied.

''Yeah, all the damage from Akatsuki's attack is about repaired, Konoha looks great once again.'' He replied to his friend.

Then there was a warping sound as a new figure appeared behind the shocked Chuunin. Before they could react a pair of kunai blazed out, taking them both in the back of the head. Madara then ejected Deidara from his eye.

''So this is Konoha? And you're _leader _Tobi? Man, things really went to hell in didn't they?'' Deidara said.

''Just use C0.''

''Already on it fearless leader. I can't believe I have to cheapen my ultimate technique like this, but I don't have a choice.'' Deidara sighed as he finished stuffing clay into his chest mouth.

Madara warped away just as the black lines were almost finished spreading across Deidara's skin. Konoha shinobi would be here soon, but by the time they got here it wouldn't matter. Most of Konoha's shinobi where gathered with the Grand Army anyway.

Over ten miles away Madara finished warping to see the village of Konoha die in a new sun as a massive Deidara-shaped explosion engulfed it and everything in ten miles.

''And here I was planning on just sending the Zetsu's head on….'' Madara asked himself.

After the explosion cleared out, Madara warped back into the village. It was a wreck, faintly you could see where Konoha's monuments might have stood, but Deidara's explosion had done a big number on it.

Madara watched in interest as dust and ash swirled into the air as Deidara regrew a new body.

''So it's true, you need to seal away the soul in order to get rid of an Edo Tensei.''

''And my technique was supposed to be final! _Beautiful_! It wasn't meant to be used over and over like this!'' Deidara huffed.

''Cry me a river.'' Madara grabbed him and sucked him in.

* * *

**Kirigakure**

''That's a lot of mist isn't it Takashi?'' a Kiri ninja asked his friend.

''You said it Naze.''

''Hey guys.'' Said a man with dark lines engulfing his skin.

''What the-''

Many miles away Madara watched in safety as Kirigakure was vapored.

''Another one bites the dust.''

* * *

**Iwagakure.**

''Hey Deidara I thought you were dea-''

A huge Deidara-shaped explosion engulfed the Rock village as Madara sipped on a glass of sake before sighing.

* * *

**Sunagakure.**

''Remember me Suna people? I was here a year ago?'' Deidara said as Madara warped out again. Various kunai impaled him, but it was useless as the black lines finished spreading over his skin.

After the explosion died down Madara warped in again to see Deidara regenerate for the fourth time.

''You know what I hate most about this place?'' Deidara asked.

''I don't really care.'' Madara said, as he sucked him in.

''The feeling of sand in your shoeeeeeeeeeeesssssss-'' Deidara began before he was sucked in.

* * *

**Kumogakure.**

Deidara screamed as he dropped in from above.

''He really sounds like a girl when he does that.'' Madara observed from his bird far above Kumogakure. He had to go about his attack on the Kumo village differently this time, considering the sheer amount of Raiton users it had.

If he was right, Deidara had already put in the clay before he jumped and should explode right about….

_...now._

Light appeared as Madara warped away.

* * *

''Our enemies are after the friend who saved my life! If they take him, if we let them have him it's over, the world is finished. I want to protect him, and I want to protect the world!'' Gaara declared passionately.

''But I'm too young to protect it all on my own. All of you, lend me your aid!'' Gaara finished his speech.

''Everyone with me let's go!'' he said to the massed cheers of the alliance's army. A hundred thousand shinobi cheered their general's heartfelt speech.

Kakashi looked up. ''Are those birds?'' he asked.

Gaara looked up too. ''No that's-''

''Bombs away!'' Deidara shouted to the various Zetsu clones before he jumped off, black lines spreading across his body. Twenty copies of Deidara followed him, each with their own clay stuffed into their chest-mouths.

''Zetsu bombs go!'' Madara ordered. Zetsu clones where a wonderful thing. Just one touch and they can create a clone of anyone with all their abilities. True the Zetsu clones where weaker, and no meant for combat, but Madara just needed them for this one purpose.

Kakashi swore as he tore of his headband and looked up with his Mangekyo, below several Hyuuga where doing the same with their Byakugan.

''It's twenty Deidaras! And they are all under some sort of jutsu! It's too far away for my Mangekyo!'' the Jounin said.

Gaara launched his sand forward, but in his heart he knew there was too little time, they were far away from the desert this time, and there were no Raiton users who could get to the bombs in midair.

A second after they all exploded as Madara warped out again.

Deidara's own explosion was like a small nuclear bomb, without the radiation. His Zetsu clones were weaker, but their explosion was quite powerful when added to Deidara's.

When Madara warped into existence over thirty miles away he was clad he took the extra precautions as a new sun was birthed into existence momentarily.

''Well….. that was easy.'' He remarked.

* * *

Kabuto was getting impatient.

Then Madara appeared with his customary warping.

''Hey Kabuto?'' he asked.

''Yes? Where's Deidara?'' he asked.

Madara released him.

''Here. You know the Alliance army? The one that we were about to fight?'' he asked.

''Of course.''

''You don't have to worry about that anymore.''

''Oh, I was under the impression this would be harder.''

''Yeah, for a moment I was going to have your zombies and my Zetsu army attack them head on. This way is so much easier.'' Madara agreed.

''Now, about our little deal Kabuto….''

* * *

Author's Notes: This is a short one-shot I wrote in fifteen minutes. It's not too serious.

While re-reading over recent chapters I realized that Deidara was now an immortal zombie who could regenerate from anything. (Sai's brother regenerated from being blown to smithereens for example) due to Edo Tensei.

Furthermore in chapter 519 Deidara' dialogue implies that he can use CO (The name of his final suicide jutsu that he used against Sasuke) repeatedly. So going by this he can use it again and again as he will simply reform after blowing himself up.

Now you have an immortal walking nuke and a man who can teleport(and teleport other people with him as well) and phase. It seems so obvious what to do when you have those things in your arsenal. Madara even witnessed Deidara doing the technique himself.

And that's not taking into account C4, or Itachi's Susanoo (Which theoretically speaking should be infinite since Itachi is an immortal zombie) or Nagato/Pain's Chibaku Tensei (Who theoretically he could use over and over again. He can't shorten his life if he's immortal)

Frankly most of the most powerful mass-destruction techniques in the series involve shortening or killing the user's life. Edo Tensei removes this problem by making it's ninja into immortal regenerating zombies.

I guess pretty much the only reason why Madara and Kabuto have not done this is either Kabuto wants to screw over Madara (Likely) or simple PIS (Plot-induced Stupidity) so the manga won't end with a curbstomp.


End file.
